I’m not a bear, not yet an otter

I wanted to introduce one of our writers, kevinatkinson (@IKEAtkinson on Twitter) and it seemed the best way was through his own words – by posting one of his personal blog posts which has a little something to do with labels.  Here it is posted below, and be sure to check out the rest of his blog, The Unofficial Official Blog of Kevin Atkinson.

For what it’s worth, I originally pulled away from blogging a few years for many good reasons. Nothing quite puts the fear of people and what they discover via Google like an employee of yours bringing up your personal blog you’ve written while at work and going over their sales performance (yes that happened, hence me stopping the posts about 4 years ago.) There were other reasons too, but let’s get real, I wanted to very much avoid an HR sensitive issue.

So, for some reason, I decided on a whim the other day to reopen this can of worms and just say… screw it. I miss writing, even if it is filled with my poor grammar and terrible spelling. Or missing whole words that reduce the meaning of the sentence to pure gibberish. The world has been missing my strong, confused, man crazed, and constantly dancing voice out there in the interwebs. So, here I am world. I’m back!

So what does actually mean? Probably nothing. Save having awesome, random, and funny only to me posts about my life. But I’m more excited to say that I’m going to be joining a fellow blogger in writing and contributing to a blog about the wonderful world of being gay and the labels that come with it “Sex, Love, and Labels.”

Labels you say? You mean there’s more to being gay than watching Drag Race and thirsting over shirtless men? Yes. Yes there is. As our world grows ever wider and interconnected through the internet and social media, including the ever growing general acceptance of homosexuality (I’m delving into specifics of that, because let’s get real, the majority of the worlds still lives in places where being is punishable criminally.) But, the more interconnected we become, the more stratified we make ourselves. We need labels, descriptions, cubby holes, to separate and tell the world and others as often and as much as possible that “I am unique and special within this large world I have become so intricately tethered to.”

So, as part of that, I will be posting and editing that as well as restarting my life here. So…yeah. That’s that. I’m back y’all. Lord knows what else will happen from here.

Much Love,

K.E. Atkinson

write with us!

Are you a member of the LGBT community and enjoy writing/blogging?  Interested in writing about the effects of labels?  Want to explore the intricacies of sex in the gay community? Or perhaps you want to talk about the search for love, and if you’ve found it, hows it’s the same or different from love in the heterosexual community?

Some of the topics we’re looking to explore: racial preferences in dating/dating apps, bottom shaming, exploring your sexual side, and of course – slinging labels at one another and what it all means.

If any of this sounds interesting, take a peek at the blog and get a sense for what we’re going for here.  Then, either leave a comment with your email address (all comments have to be approved by the administrator, so don’t worry – your email address wont be displayed in public) or shoot @justgngr a direct message on Twitter.

It all started…

It all started with a Buzzfeed quiz and a tweet.  “What kind of bottom are you?” sparked a twitter conversation – and the inspiration for this blog – about labels in the gay community.  Specifically, how true are any of these artificial labels and how much weight do they carry?

IMG_4577 Buzzfeed was throwing around terms like “pro-bottom”, “power bottom” and “sub-bottom” (aka submissive bottom), the term that definitely sparked most of the commentary – mostly because no one felt that sub bottom as described by Buzzfeed was accurate.  But more importantly, it generated a conversation about what it meant to be a “sub-bottom”, and if a definition could be agreed on, did the label stick 100% of the time.

According to Urban Dictionary, unlike power bottoms, the submissive bottom is the partner in gay sex who let’s his partner do whatever he wants to him in sex. Submissive bottoms are usually in sexual contact with Power top. Submissive bottoms are common and usually prefer doggie style and knee bender sex positions. Submissive bottoms prefer Anal sex and Blow jobs to be slow and calming.

So is Buzzfeed’s description wrong? Can a sub-bottom know what, how and when they want it but at the same time let his partner do whatever he wants?  Are these labels truly set in stone or are they flexible and fluid?

And a topic for another post… sexual position (top, bottom, versatile) and sexual behavior (dom or sub) are often thrown together, usually as dom top or sub bottom.  Can we ever get to the understanding that these are separate ideas?