50 First Dates

To be fair, I don’t know that it was 50 dates, but Kevin Atkinson, one of our amazing contributors, talks about starting back into the dating scene – particularly with online dating.  The snippet below is from his post “I wanna love somebody (Go find me somebody to love)” – and honestly, how many of us have felt the EXACT same way at some point in our LGBT dating lives?

About two months ago, I threw myself head first into the on-line dating world. I’m happy to report that in those two months I’ve gone on multiple dates, met many new people, questioned everything about my self worth and value as a human being. I’ve compared myself to every person’s body as not quite good enough, not quite thin enough, not quite strong enough, and not maintained enough for someone to really date. My personality was still genuine but consciously groomed to make sure the weird pet peeves I have didn’t surface, or how my long-term expectations were something that mattered to me. Remember, though, having expectation conversations early with someone is really forward and too serious. Because God damn it, I just wanted to make we’re on the same page for 5 year plans but I can’t ask that because THEN I’M FUCKING DESPERATE AREN’T I?!

Being Ugly: Chapter One

Hey, its Will again. It has been literally ages since I wrote my first post for this blog, and literally the entire world has changed, and when justgngr told me I had an old unpublished post in here, I was kinda scared of what I didn’t remember writing… but here it is. Lightly edited and an actual lending added, hope you enjoy:

I have an inkling that the main reason I was asked to contribute to this blog is that I have a perspective that its founder doesn’t – I am an ugly gay person. Now, obviously, justgngr is gay… but he’s also very good looking. The world runs differently when you’re good looking – that applies to all people, regardless of sexuality – but it is amplified in the gay community.

I’ve been fat my entire life. The shopping trips I recall as a little kid were always in the “husky” section. A bookish, mildly-effeminate chubby kid, I was naturally a target for ridicule and derision in school from my peers. Truthfully, I didn’t really have any actual friends until college, so I may have missed some of the usual socialization milestones. I could carry on a grownup conversation, but didn’t know anything about how to be a kid – my non-classroom times were spent eating my PB&J in the bathroom or an empty classroom.

Some time in high school, puberty hit. Along with the realization that I was gay came the realization that everyone disliked me because I was ugly AND gay, not just ugly… but in addition, puberty has an evil way of magnifying one’s insecurities. I started growing hair in all the usual puberty places, but also on my shoulders and back, while at the same time started losing the hair on my head. Balding at 17 is not a good look, I promise you, but for the chubby gay 17-year-old with patches of hair on his jawline trying to fuse with the patches of hair on his shoulders, it just makes you look like you’ve decided to give up on any chance you ever had of getting laid.

Which is a bit odd because I lost my virginity right around that time. To a guy. From the internet. I had a great time – someone actually wanted me! To be quite honest, that’s all that sex has been for me since – knowing that for those 10-20 minutes, someone actually wants to be around you, even if it is just to get their dick sucked.

But hey, at least, for those few minutes, I get to feel sexy…

I’ll be exploring this topic much more moving forward, so lets just call this Chapter One.

 

Yes, we still need Pride

posting here because it’s important.

You Think You Know

For every time someone has told you that you are sinning.  For every time someone told you that what you’re doing is immoral.  For every time someone told you that what you’re doing is gross or sick or unnatural.

For every time someone asked you “why do you need to get married?”  For every time someone asked you “why should you have ‘special rights’?”  For every time the government has denied you your unalienable rights.  For every time you’ve been denied the right to visit a sick boyfriend/girlfriend/partner/spouse in the hospital.  For every time society has denied you for who you are, for who you love, and for how you love.

For every time you’ve wondered “will my boss fire me for being gay?”.  For every time you’ve been nervous to put a picture of your girlfriend/boyfriend/partner/spouse on your desk at work.  For every time you’ve wondered “will my landlord…

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The thirst is real…

Curious what people think about this post on Cocktails and Cock Talk, There Isn’t a Sea Big Enough to Drown Out the Modern Epidemic of Thirsty Gay Men.

A little excerpt…

Listen, if you’ve got a good body and you put the hours in at the gym, then fair play to you, you should be proud of anything that you worked hard for. Nobody is crucifying anybody for a shameless selfie once in a Blue Moon. But it’s the endless rotisserie of near-naked desperation. Don’t you have anything to say? Where’s your voice?

overheard

If we as a community know firsthand the sting of hate, sarcasm, discrimination, and public humiliation, why do we continue to use them as weapons in our arsenal to gain respect and recognition, and why do we support organizations and celebrities who engage in such behavior?

The Next Time You Hate on LGBT People

You Think You Know

Jan Albert Suing, a graduate student as well as a LGBT rights and social equality advocate, wrote the following Facebook post a little less than a year ago when same sex marriage became the law of the land thanks to the Supreme Court.  In light of professional boxer Manny Pacquiao’s recent controversial comments (read: outright horrible comments) regarding the LGBT community, Jan re-posted this open letter on Huffington Post, as a letter to Manny and any one else in the straight community who perhaps needs a little reading.

The next time you hate on LGBT people and call them an ‘abomination,’ remember how easy you have it compared to them who have to go through all oppression and pain and suffering just to get the same rights that you’ve been enjoying practically since you were born and never had to fight for.

The next time you hate on LGBT…

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