It all started with a Buzzfeed quiz and a tweet. “What kind of bottom are you?” sparked a twitter conversation – and the inspiration for this blog – about labels in the gay community. Specifically, how true are any of these artificial labels and how much weight do they carry?
Buzzfeed was throwing around terms like “pro-bottom”, “power bottom” and “sub-bottom” (aka submissive bottom), the term that definitely sparked most of the commentary – mostly because no one felt that sub bottom as described by Buzzfeed was accurate. But more importantly, it generated a conversation about what it meant to be a “sub-bottom”, and if a definition could be agreed on, did the label stick 100% of the time.
According to Urban Dictionary, unlike power bottoms, the submissive bottom is the partner in gay sex who let’s his partner do whatever he wants to him in sex. Submissive bottoms are usually in sexual contact with Power top. Submissive bottoms are common and usually prefer doggie style and knee bender sex positions. Submissive bottoms prefer Anal sex and Blow jobs to be slow and calming.
So is Buzzfeed’s description wrong? Can a sub-bottom know what, how and when they want it but at the same time let his partner do whatever he wants? Are these labels truly set in stone or are they flexible and fluid?
And a topic for another post… sexual position (top, bottom, versatile) and sexual behavior (dom or sub) are often thrown together, usually as dom top or sub bottom. Can we ever get to the understanding that these are separate ideas?